jakeytoor’s blog

-"You know, she was one of those arts fartsy types so she let him draw a picture in her class to express his feelings, or whatever." UCSD Professor
-"Oh you are an artist? Well good for you!" - Lots of people
"When are you going to get a real job? You should be an engineer like your Dad. Or a Doctor. Or a Lawyer." - Lots of people
-"OK, you all got to have fun all morning! You got to paint and dance. Now it is time to do some thinking. We are going to do Math!" - Elementary School Teacher speaking to her students.
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*Warning: Generalizations about artists abound in this post. Also, I am referring to artists in general but my perspective is that of an actor and dancer so most of my experiences have been with people in this branch of the arts.

For a number of months now, I have been trying to figure out why the arts are considered a frivolous filler in educational settings, and why Artists are not generally taken seriously. I firmly believe that if we want to change anything we need to be honest with ourselves about its' condition. Apart from the fact that the arts are generally not appreciated in society and therefore not appreciated in schools (because any small organization is usually just a microcosm of the larger organization it is housed in), I want to look at the role of the artist in this whole big picture and how s/he furthers this notion. Here are my list of reasons so far:

1) It is often difficult for artists to explain their work which makes people think that they might not really know what they are talking about.

1a) There is a lot of intuition involved in art making and intuition is difficult if not impossible to explain.

For a number of reasons many artists have a difficult time explaining their work. Half of this can be attributed to the fact that it just isn't possible to verbalize every aspect of ones art work. There is a quote by someone (whose name is escaping me right now) that says "If I could write it, I wouldn't have to dance it." or something along those lines... Every medium communicates with the audience on a level and in a way that only that medium can. Words can't say the same thing that movement can. A line on a canvas can't convey the same meaning as a musical note. Any combination of these mediums creates yet another.

1b) Artists are not asked about their work frequently enough.

Verbalizing ones reasoning behind such a complex task as art making requires practice. In my experience not many people ask artist to do this. Even in classroom settings, artists are never grilled about their work because teachers and students are too afraid to ask. They don't want to put anyone on the spot for fear of damaging their delicate self esteem. Or they don’t understand the art work themselves and so won't know how to respond to the response. It is also impossible to grade an explanation so why bother right?

1c) The arts are a refuge for people that might have trouble expressing themselves in more analytical ways.

Many people turn to the arts as a last resort of expression. Feeling abandoned by other disciplines, they see the arts as the one subject area in which they can communicate with other people effectively. Because some artists might not have done so well in a traditional academic setting they probably have not been asked to explain their reasoning on a regular basis and so don't feel comfortable doing so.

2) Many artists are flakey.

Yes. It's true. Why might this be? Let's break it down. Because introspection and reflection are integral parts of the art making process, artist are often self absorbed (I am not saying this in a judgmental way, just a matter of fact way - I consider myself to be fairly self absorbed). Being self absorbed often leads to being late, unreliable, and generally thinking that the world revolves around you - hence the flakiness. Also the nature of an art maker tends to be whimsical, spontaneous, and rebellious, all qualities that can lead to an artist having trouble staying committed and being on time.

3) Many (but certainly not all) of the artists that are present in educational settings are there because it is almost impossible to make a living as an artist.

For many teaching artists teaching is choice #2. Because it is very difficult to make a living in this line of work, many turn to teaching jobs in the arts or teaching in general, thinking that it is at least a job with some kind of human interaction and one that will fulfill their desire to be up in front of people, on a stage. Considering that these artists probably took a lot of art  related classes and were educated by other 'It was impossible for me to make a living as an artist so I became a teacher' teachers, the example that has been set for them is that of a teacher for whom teaching is not the first priority. The cycle perpetuates itself.

4) The tough competition in the world of professional art requires artists to have very flexible schedules which they can't have with teaching so they just might ditch work sometimes for a gig or opportunity.

Because the professional world of the arts is EXTREMELY competitive, artist have to be ready to audition, submit their work, or meet with someone (agent, director, gallery owner) at a moments notice. Because this is really their number one passion, they are willing to let their day job take a back seat for an opportunity.

5) Artists have been able to get away with a lot of b.s. because they are artists (people excuse it because "they are just so artistic" or "one of those creative types" or have clout). This again perpetuates the cycle.....

This is as far as I have gotten.

I realize that this is probably offensive to many hard working responsible artists. By no means am I implying that there are not thousands of hard working dedicated teacher/artists that do not fit this bill. I realize I am making incredibly generalizations, that might very well be limited to my personal experience.... but I also think the stereotype exists for a reasons and is rooted in some kind of truth. And really, though I sound very judgmental, I am actually not in the big scheme of things. I just want to look at the situation and try to figure out why it is the way it is.

Oh! Devils Advocate. I obviously think the arts are important because they are important to ME. One can also make the argument that perhaps the arts (in an educational setting at least) aren't really necessary in the grander scheme of things. If we look at it in a Darwinian way, perhaps they just aren't strong enough to make a case for themselves. Maybe society will go on and be just fine as long as it has a few artists on the fringes that will (schooling or not) create their work because they can't not create it. And maybe that is all society needs. What's necessary will surface and all the rest falls and fades away. Interesting things to think about. How do you quantify the importance of the arts? Can you quantify it? Is this precisely the reason why no one wants to make a case for it besides a few passionate artists?

From The Madman, His Parables and Poems by Khalil Gibran

Defeat, my Defeat, my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart than all worldglory.
Defeat, my Defeat, my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.
Defeat, my Defeat, my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be enslaved,
And to be understood is to be levelled down,
And to be grasped is but to reach one's fullness
And like a ripe fruit to fall and be consumed.
Defeat, my Defeat, my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb my steep and rocky soul.
Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous.

Created for my Art Methods class, this is a dance and talk about my experiences as a learner, my developing teacher philosophy, and Gardener’s 8 Intelligences.

My Cooperating Teacher told me about this and I thought it was great. It is about Classroom Management:

In the same way that we do research in the classroom to see what kinds of management strategies work with our students, our students do research to see what kinds of behaviors are acceptable to their teachers. It makes a lot of sense doesn’t it? Our actions (or inaction) is their evidence and everyday their hypothesis evolves. Just like we try on different CM strategies until we can find ones that we believe in and works with the group of students that we have, they try out different behaviors to see what works with them and their teacher. I thought it was a really great way to look at things. We are all researchers in the classroom, just on different ends of the spectrum.

I was at a family birthday party last night (I have a huge family on my Dad’s side, I think there are about 30 of us in all at this point) and I was sitting at a table with 5 of my high-school and college age cousins. We somehow we got on the topic of terrible teachers. They recounted everything from teachers that would literally sleep in class, to teachers that locked students that were misbehaving in closets or stapled their hair to a cork boards in the back of the room so that they couldn’t move (I know, crazy huh!). I think that I also have to take stories like that with a grain of salt because I have seen some pretty weird things done in classrooms to make a point and they were really effective. A retelling of events always has a spin that you have to think twice about. Anyway, I asked “How about really great teachers? What were they like? What do you remember about them?” These were the answers:

-”They were different than all the other teachers.”
-”They told the best stories!”
-”They really cared about you, they didn’t just give you a worksheet.”
-”They always had something fun for us to do in class and we got to work with our friends.”
-”She was so over-dramatic! Every time we would get an answer wrong she would pretend like she was stabbing a knife though her heart and fall to the floor. It seems weird but people really got into it.”
-”They really knew what they were talking about.”
-”They had respect for their students. they talked with us like we were real people.”
-”I don’t know what it was exactly but you just wanted to impress him. He had a “most improved student wall” and everyone in that class wanted to get on that wall. EVERYONE. In the end everyone did because we all did so well.”
-”She was really into poetry and she got us to have the most interesting conversations. I still don’t know how she did that. I think I am going to Facebook her just to say hi. Actually that might be weird……. No, I think I’ll do it. She is so cool, she would probably be down with that.”
-“They made it important for us and our lives.”

I could go on…. we had a good conversation. Through this casual ‘research’ at the dinner table I leaned that teachers that really made an impact had these 3 qualities:

- they cared about their students.
- they understood and were passionate about their curriculum.
- they had some sort of eccentricity.

*The names of students have been changed.

It started like any other day. Samuel was waiting by the back door in the early morning light. He peeked his head in the classroom the same way he did every morning "Ms. Jakey!" he said in his quiet and scratchy voice. "Good morning Samuel!" I said. I was already about to loose it. That would be the last time I would ever see him do that. It just made me so sad. I was going to miss him terribly. Compose yourself, I thought. As a child I always was, and still am very emotional when anything in life ends. I have just come to expect and embrace that so I told the students ahead of time that I would probably be very sad and cry but that my tears would be both happy and sad tears: happy for all the learning and growing we did together but sad because I will miss them all so much. They had been forewarned.

I suppose what had the most profound impact on me was the realization that our classroom community, the one that we had worked so long and hard to create, would never exist again. This very special group of people would never meet in this way again. Many students were going to different schools or moving all together. This was it. And realistically, I probably wouldn't see any of them ever again. You know that it is coming, you understand it in theory, but it is a totally different ball game to live it, to be in the room and really feel it. It was one of my most difficult days as a student teacher.

I looked down at Sophia, the girl that was so afraid of boys and germs, the girl that I had had long conversations with everyday at recess about the white fluffy coat that she was going to make for her mommy, the girl that just couldn't sit kriss-cross apple sauce, make friends, or touch anyone unless it was to hit them. She looked up at me and said look Ms. Jakey I made you a card. It read "From Sophia to Ms. Jakey." She opened it and read slowly "I.......love........you......Ms.......Jakey." Then she did something that she had never done before, she gave me a big hug, and buried her face in my tummy. It was the first time I had seen her touch anyone in a kind way. All of my composure flew out the window. Tears started to run down my face. Even though this hug represented tremendous progress for her, I couldn't help but feel like I had totally failed her as a teacher as she stood in front of me clutching my legs. She didn't belong in this classroom, she didn't belong with these other students, she belonged in a place where she could study things that she was interested in and design white fluffy coats with feathered trims and parachutes attached to the back “just incase the person that was wearing it fell out of a plane.” What do we do with these students? How do we help them flourish?

At the same time I thought about all the students that were not like Sophia, the ones that so easily blended into the milieu. Should they receive less attention because they can sit kriss-cross apple sauce? Because they follow the rules? This is something that I think about a lot: the 5%. How do we divide our time and attention equally? There is no equal, really. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. That's how it is in life and in the classroom. Is that fair. No, obviously not. It should be noted that people squeak in very different ways and it is not always the talkative or "colorful" students that receive most of our attention BUT being disruptive is certainly a way to get some of that teacher attention.

And Jenny with those sad and knowing eyes. She would come in every morning, exhausted and still do her best to follow all the rules. "Smile!" I would say. "Sometimes even if you feel sad smiling can make you fee better. Pretend till it comes true." In the end the school did not call CPS. Her Mom had taken on a night shift to support her children and for this to be possible they had to sleep in the car in her work parking lot. She said she was only a few feet away and could see them all the time. Would breaking that family up be the best thing for them because Mom was trying to make ends meet? So many judgment calls.

And then there were those student's that made every day a challenge. Those students that just couldn't or wouldn't follow our classroom rules, the students that you usually remember. I admired their skepticism. Good for you, I thought, you just stay the way you are, all this rule business really isn't all it's cracked up to be. And you know what? All the really great thinkers and innovators never paid much attention to the rules anyway. The thing is that you have to master the rules before you can meaningfully break them. Picasso's squiggle illustration of Don Quixote is meaningful because he is making a statement by being a minimalist. It is a conscious decision. That is what separates his work from a 5 year old's. He knows what he is doing and not doing. So help them master the rules, Jakey!

As we said our goodbyes the parents trickled in and the students trickled out. I couldn't help but feel many different emotions at the same time. Sadness, relief, a sense of accomplishment, a terrible longing for the way things were just an hour ago, and a peace of heart knowing that we all did the very best we could and made the most of our time together. I realized that although the year had come to an end and we were all going our separate ways, we had shared something that could never be recreated: our selves at a particular point and time. The experiences we shared will continually inform my identity as a teacher and their identity as students. We were, at the end of the day, inextricably intertwined with one another.

The problem with staying in the same place for too long is that your surroundings become like wallpaper. So many beautiful things around you and you just can't see them anymore.